Naruto's Greatest Pranks
by Baby Cougar
Summary: Naruto's greatest pranks of all time! Real pranks, too. Each chapter is an un-related oneshot. Rated because anything is possible.
1. None of Your Beeswax

**Note: I did not invent these, I found them and converted them to Naruto. I am not a good prankster.**

Mind Your Own Beeswax

Naruto was sitting in class at the academy. He was waiting for his least favorite teacher, Mizuki-Sensei, to pass back his test. When he got it, he glared at his teacher. He had gotten a 67 percent, when the student in front of him, Sasuke Uchiha, whom had had copied from, had gotten a perfect 100. He knew Mizuki was purposefully trying to fail him, but nobody would listen to him, not even Iruka-Sensei or the Hokage. They told him that Mizuki was there to help him learn from his mistakes, not purposefully fail you. Naruto thought that was a load of bull.

Now, how to get back at him? Naruto thought of a phobia that Mizuki had told the class about, spiders. That wouldn't work, because, frankly, Naruto was afraid of them, too. So what else? Then he remembered. He had a friend, named Shino Aburame, who had a whole clan dedicated to bugs! They have honeybees and sell honey, too. That would be perfect.

After school, Naruto ran to talk to Shino before he went home.

"Hey, Shino!" he shouted.

The boy merely turned around and glanced at Naruto, black glasses glaring in the afternoon sun.

"I was wondering if I could come over to your house. I want to see the famous bees your clan has!"

Shino's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Of all the things this knuckle head could have asked him, that was most definitely not what he was expecting.

"Of course." Shino led the way, and Naruto gleefully followed.

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When they got there, Naruto couldn't believe his eyes. It was _amazing_! In the room where they keep the bees, the back wall was covered in honeycomb. Hives were hung everywhere, and there were cages full of the buzzing bees. Shino's father came out, and was surprised to see that Shino had brought a friend home.

"Uh, Mr. Aburame, sir?" Naruto asked nervously, after all, when you are eight, Shibi does look intimidating.

"Yes, Uzumaki? What would you like?" he asked. At first, Naruto wondered how he knew his name, but then he remembered that everybody knew his name. He winced at some of the more…_colorful_…memories.

"I was wondering if I could buy 500 bees?" he asked nervously.

Both Aburame members looked surprised. Why would the number one knuckleheaded ninja want bees?

"What do you need them for?" Shibi asked him.

_Uh, think Naruto, think._ "Um, Iruka-Sensei asked me to pick some up as a sign of responsibility. He told me that we were going to have a lesson about bees and their behavior. He also said that Shino would really enjoy the surprise."

Naruto was getting anxious, what if they didn't buy it? He held out his frog purse as if to prove he would pay. They seemed to believe him.

"Alright, Naruto. Listen, we actually happen to have a hive that isn't producing any honey. For some reason, they don't have stingers, either. So, I will give them to you for free. Be sure to tell Iruka that Shibi said hello."

Naruto mentally cursed. Okay, so they didn't have stingers. Minor drawback. The Aburames believed him and he was getting 500 free bees. He nodded his head in acknowledgement to Shibi's extended greeting.

Shibi left the room, and came back with a 10 gallon Plexiglas tank filled with the bees. It had a mesh sliding top.

"Will you be able to carry that, Naruto? It's a bit big." Shino asked him.

Normally he would have said yes, but he was taking the bees back to his house, so he had to do it alone.

"No thanks, I can do it myself. Thank you for the bees! Iruka-Sensei will love them!"

Naruto hauled the large tank on his back and left through the door, which was being held open by a amused Aburame. He left and headed in the direction of the Academy before he was sure they couldn't see him anymore. He veered off and ran home, careful not to drop the bees. He put them in his room.

Naruto went to Ichiraku's for dinner, and waited until nightfall.

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Naruto snuck onto Academy grounds. Everybody had gone home. Breaking in wouldn't be a problem, he was a master at it. He slipped into the building and went to Mizuki's classroom. He went to the windows and closed them, sealing them with a clear adhesive. The windows opened to the inside, so he went back out and taped the outside with clear tape so it wouldn't be seen from the street. He went home to get to bed, he had to finish tomorrow morning.

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Naruto woke up bright and early; it was still dark out. He went back up to the academy, bringing the bees with him. He nearly dropped the container because of the sickening buzzing. He found Mizuki's room, and he was already in there. He hid, waiting for him to leave. The teachers always met up in the training room before class started. Mizuki finally left, and Naruto bounded in, he had to be quick to pull this off. He went inside the room and took apart the doorknob, prying it open with a screwdriver. He messed up the mechanisms inside so that it wouldn't open from the inside, just the outside. He turned it to make sure, and it did exactly what he wanted it to do. He got out of there and hid again; in the air vent along with the bees. Mizuki went back into the room and closed the door behind him. Naruto practically squealed with glee; his plan would work!

Jumping down from the vent in the ceiling, he brought the bees with him. He shook the tank, and made them angry. He let them buzz around for a while, like a minute, ant tipped the tank on its side. Naruto lifted the screen about an inch so the bees would fly in under the door. In no less than 5 seconds the entire tank was emptied into the classroom. He bolted, he didn't need to be caught, and he needed to ditch the aquarium.

He threw it in the dumpster, then ran to the bushes to spy on the classroom window. He could hear frantic, bloodcurdling scream coming from the inside. He could hear the door jerking in its frame, but not opening. Next were the windows, scratching and pounding, but still not opening. Mizuki was still screaming. Naruto couldn't hold it in, and cracked up laughing in the bushes. He heard a smash, and looked up to see a chair leg sticking through the window, ripping the tape.

He left to get away from the scene of the crime, and went to Ichiraku's for breakfast. When he got back to the academy, fashionably late, he had found that the bees had escaped, the door had been opened. A few were still buzzing around the room. Everybody knew what happened. Nobody knew it was him. Naruto took his seat, smug as hell, looking at his teacher.

Mizuki was paranoid, and was moving in jerky movements. He went to collect the homework, and when he passed Naruto, Naruto buzzed. Mizuki grabbed his head and cringed. All of the students tried their best not to laugh at him, Naruto especially. Mizuki, of course, blamed him anyway.

"I'll see you in summer school, Uzumaki." he said.

Naruto just smirked. "I heard about what happened. Something about you dancing around the classroom?"

His classmates couldn't hold it in any longer. The entire room was bursting with laughter. Even Shino had a sadistic grin on his face. He had known better than to believe Naruto's charity act. Mizuki stammered for a moment, then just walked away.

Naruto was pleased with himself. That was an awesome prank. He always gets back at people who mess with him, believe it.

**Ta Da!! This turned out better than I thought it would. I wonder what the next chapter will be? And for those who may be confused, Naruto is still in the Ninja Academy, the genin are only eight years old.**


	2. Ebisu's Mega Destruction

It was another good pranking day for Naruto. He sat, cross-legged, on his bed. There would be no missions tomorrow, meaning he could stay up late. He hadn't played a good prank I a while. Since he had graduated from the academy, a year ago, he hadn't had much time to really get any pranking done. But who to pull it off on?

"I got it!" Naruto snapped his fingers. He would mess with that old closet pervert, Ebisu. After much assurance, Naruto now knew that he was in no way related to Shino, he just likes their style. That would mean he wouldn't be caught.

Naruto remembered the one and only time he had ever tried to prank the Aburames. He had taken flypaper and put it on every available surface in the compound. He was just finishing out a patch of ground when he heard a loud buzzing behind him. He turned around and found most of the clan, kikaichu swarming, standing behind him.

He winced at the memory, and looked at his left arm, where the scar remained. He also thought about the time he tried to prank the Inuzukas.

He had taken several dog items, like squeaky toys and rawhides, and showered the compound with them. Now, mind you, the dogs didn't mind one bit, but the clansmen knew that it was supposed to be derogatory. Naruto, always a thinker, seemed to forget just how doggish the clan was. He got sniffed out immediately. Below the kikai scar, Naruto looked at the scar left by Kuromaru's bite.

Naruto had thought about doing this to Kakashi, but he was too much like a dog and would smell him.

So, Ebisu it was. Naruto went to the store to buy all the things he needed to pull it off, and went back home, plotting.

When night fell, Naruto sealed the stuff in a scroll and snuck to Ebisu's house. After peeking into the bedroom window, he concluded that the jounin was asleep. Perfect. He unrolled the scroll and unsealed all the items. He had several things to do tonight.

He took a bunch of ugly underwear, men's and women's alike, as well as socks, and littered the yard and trees with them. Afterwards, he took out a shovel and dug a hole right in front of the door, about two feet deep, and filled it with water. He covered it with a piece of newspaper, putting rocks on the end to prevent it from falling in. He covered the paper with the dirt, patting it down gently. Naruto was glad that the man had a dirt path and not a sidewalk.

He disposed of the dirt behind the bushes in his flowerbed by the door. The next part, which won't take effect for a few months, was to plant random but fast growing plants all around the yard. He took packets of pumpkin, gourd, bramble, and grape out of his pocket, and started to plant them all over the yard. Besides, when would he have another chance to do that? Probably not for a while.

Naruto thought of the Inuzukas again, and smiled at the next stage of his prank. He took out butcher's bones and poor cuts of meat. He also had dog treats. He buried all of these items randomly in the nice cultivated garden, especially around the bigger plants. That would be quite a sight when the Inuzukas take their dogs for a walk, and they all happen to pass by this house. They would surely smell the goodies buried in the garden.

For the next step, he played on the closet pervert's weakness. Naruto had manages to smuggle a Playboy magazine from the bookstore. He tore out many of the pictures and posted them all over the front of the house. He laid the remaining magazine on the front stoop.

And, last but not least, Naruto did the most basic of all, he teepeed the entire house, and being a ninja, was able to make sure that the entire house was covered.

Naruto took a step back and surveyed his work. Perfect. He knew that the man got up at 6:00 in the morning, so he would come back then. He gathered his belongings and dashed back home. Setting his alarm, he went straight to bed.

It seemed like no time had passed when the alarm went off. Naruto had considered smashing it and going back to sleep, but then he remembered the prank. He got his jacket and shoes on, and took off on the rooftops to Ebisu's house. Staying on a neighbor's roof, he watched. The fun won't start until he comes outside. After waiting for about half an hour, he heard the doorknob jiggle.

Naruto snapped back to attention and watched with great interest as the door opened.

"What the…_what the hell!?_" Ebisu said as he bent down and picked up the magazine from the ground. He turned around to close the door, and then noticed all the pictures posted on the side of the house. Even from that distance, Naruto could see the small nosebleed.

Ebisu was about to peel the pictures off when a flutter of white caught his eye. He looked and saw a lone ribbon of toilet paper. Backing up to take a look at his house, he stepped right over the hole and broke through the top, one leg in the hole and falling backwards onto his back. He yelled. He fisted his hand in anger, but a piece of fabric was in his hand. He pulled it in front of his face to see what it was, and it was a small, lacey thong. He immediately flung the object and pulled himself out of the muddy hole.

Naruto snickered. From this height, he could see Kiba and his mother taking most of the dogs for a walk. Since they are nin-dogs, they do not need to be on a leash. As they passed by the house, dozens of canine noses flew into the air. The pack of dogs flew into the yard and dug up Ebisu's garden. He started to yell at them and pull them out. The two Inuzukas ran in to assist in stopping the dogs.

"What happened here!?" Tsume exclaimed.

"I don't know. It was like this when I came out."

Kiba sniffed the air, then some of the various items.

"You know, this stuff smells an awful lot like Naruto."

Naruto, honoring his village's namesake, decided to make like a tree and leave.

**Sorry for the wait, again, I was taking a break. As always, review!**


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